3 Ways Clutter is Self-Sabotage
There’s not one definition of what is self-sabotage, but I like how it’s described by Brianna Wiest, author of The Mountain Is You.
In the book Wiest says, “self-sabotage is what happens when we refuse to consciously meet our innermost needs…self-sabotage is a maladaptive coping mechanism, a way we give ourselves what we need without having to actually address what that need is.”
This particular definition reminds me of how clutter is used, or how the accumulation of stuff becomes a go-to coping mechanism to many of life’s challenges.
If you’re wondering why anyone would do this type of behavior, I assure you, it’s more common than you may think.
Here’s what it can look like:
Have a bad day? Buy something.
Got teased? Buy something.
Had a good day? Buy something.
Feel defeated? Buy something.
Experiencing pain? Buy something.
Hit a goal? Buy something.
After reading this post you may see similar parallels in your own life that you never considered as self-sabotage.
Awareness is key and it’s the first step to moving away from self-sabotageing behaviors especially with clutter.
Here are the three ways clutter is self-sabotage that will be explored in this post:
- Clutter is a physical and mental roadblock
- Clutter steals from you
- Clutter is a distraction
Clutter is a physical and mental roadblock
Clutter is both a physical and a mental roadblock. Let’s dive into how this might look and take shape in your life.
Clutter as a physical roadblock
Clutter is a barrier between where you are and where you want to go. I don’t mean this in only a metaphorical sense. Clutter is a physical roadblock.
For example, I’ve worked with clients that aren’t able to freely navigate their homes because clutter crowds their pathways. One client took a near catastrophic fall trying to avoid the clutter in her hallway. No broken bones, but she was black and blue from trying to side-step the clutter.
It doesn’t stop there. The volume of clutter physically prevents you from seeing all that you have. Ever stack and pile items in your home? Or shove so much into a deep cabinet that it’s near impossible to see the items in the corners?
Whether it’s heaps of clothes piled high or stacks of papers teetering on the edge of flat surfaces, stuff prevent you from walking a clear path in your home. And stuff lying on top of any flat surfaces makes it a challenge to clear a space for working whether it’s homework, paying bills, or even cooking in the kitchen.
Physical clutter obstructs the flow within your home.
When we actively put something physical between ourselves and what we truly want in life, we are derailing our path, which looks like self-sabotage.
Clutter as a mental roadblock
It’s obvious clutter is visual when it takes shape as physical items in our home. But what about how clutter has the ability to impact our thoughts and can cause chaos in our minds?
A cluttered space is a breeding ground for a cluttered mind.
Wiest further explores this idea why saying, “without cleanliness, we create fewer opportunities for ourselves. Nothing positive, nor beautiful, flows from chaos.” She goes on to say, “Deep down we know this. Often, we are self-sabotaging through disorganization….”
It’s true. Creating a home full of clutter creates a mental roadblock, making it difficult and near impossible to quiet the mind. Why? Because a visual buffet of stuff gives your eyes too much to do. They bounce from thing to thing to thing, circling a room because there’s no ‘white’ space to rest their eyes.
Each piece of clutter can also feel like an open ended to-do list because every single item represents a task of unfinished business. For instance, each sheet of paper stacked in a pile represents some task that needs to get done.
It’s no surprise that the accumulation of stuff, causes a cloud of overwhelm that leads to inaction, procrastination or worse, contributes to feelings of anxiety and depression.
And to back this up with science, giving our brains more to think about (in excess of the already average of 40,000 daily thoughts) is not only exhausting, but another way we sabotage our progress towards clarity.
Clutter steals from you
The physical things that you allow into your life take up more than just space.
These items take up your energy and your time too.
Responsibilities attach to each decision to purchase an item. Meaning, the item doesn’t merely exist and take up space. It also takes up energy from you in the form of taking care of and maintaining it.
Caring for an item such as dusting, storing and moving the items from room to room is maintenance.
Cleaning a home is already a challenging and time consuming task when all surfaces and floors are clear. But when you introduce clutter piles, the task becomes so hard, many don’t bother to do it all. So from this perspective, clutter can also steal your health and wellness too.
Adding to your Amazon cart might appear harmless, but once stuff is accumulated and the compounding affect is felt, it’s easy to admit that clutter steals from you.
Clutter is a distraction
The stuff we own is a distraction in our lives. Even the pursuit of accumulating the items becomes a distraction. How many times have you used “retail therapy” as an excuse to make a purchase? This concept of retail therapy comes from using buying and spending as a form or coping with a larger and more serious issue below the surface.
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself what are you using stuff to avoid in your life? Instead of confronting the actual problem you may be using clutter as a distraction. Used as avoidance, consumption and clutter pushes you further away from dealing with the real issues at hand.
I view this as a form of self-sabotage because the distraction, when unchecked, creates another problem in your life.
Like, all that stuff used to be money in the bank.
It reminds me of the Sex and the City episode, when Carrie needs a down payment to pay for her apartment. As a well paid New York City writer, Carrie wonders why she can’t come up with $40K. Miranda brings what’s hidden to the surface. Carrie’s shoe obsession – the one where she has at least 100 pairs, each costing $400 – totals $40,000, the exact amount needed for a down payment.
The shoes, or the money spent on the shoes, creates a real problem for Carrie. The kind that risks homelessness and in a moment of realization she says, “I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes.”
Jokes and punch lines aside, stuff in the form of clutter distracts you from what you really want. Yes, the shoes are great, but a roof over your head may be the first priority.
Conclusion
Taking an introspective look at how your clutter affects your life is the first step to true awareness of your situation. This practice helps you gain a deeper understanding of how your actions contribute to self-sabotage.
Even though your everyday actions don’t look like self-harm, when you take an honest look from a different perspective, you’re forming connections between clutter and self-sabotage.
You do not have to give in to clutter and let it steal from your future self.
The road to tidying up is winding and even at times you may feel like it’s getting worse before it’s getting better. In these times, look ahead, and pause, but don’t stop the journey. I promise, your future self will thank you.
Southern California based Professional Organizer, Sandy Park, owner and founder of Tidy with SPARK shares her joy of organization with her clients.
She serves clients in Orange County as well as the hundreds of thousands of followers on her combined social media platforms.
Connect with Sandy through her website or by connecting through her social channels.
So relatable, Sandy! Thanks for speaking to this. It feels like a loving kick in the ass. I often think of you as I work on my issues with clutter. Thanks for all that you do!
Thank you for your comment! I’m so glad this struck a chord. I think more of us can benefit from this awareness!