Marie Kondo Quits Tidying
Marie Kondo is not new to controversy.
There was bookgate when she was accused of only allowing her clients to keep 30 books. This is not true by the way.
And now this. Would we call this tidygate?
Over the past decade since writing her #1 New York Times Bestseller, The Life changing Magic of Tidying up, Marie has found herself at the center of quite a few messes, with the most recent one starting out with her claiming she no longer keeps a tidy house.
I never imagined writing the words, Marie Kondo quits tidying, yet here we are.
Let’s dig into what she said and what lessons I’m taking away from this.
I break down the problems with Marie’s shift in perspective through sharing five lessons to take away from the controversy in this video.
Marie Kondo's Home is Messy
Marie recently states “My home is messy, but the way I am spending my time is the right way for me at this time at this stage of my life,” she said through an interpreter at a recent media webinar and virtual tea ceremony according to the Washington Post.
Now that we know what she said I’m sharing 5 lessons that we can learn from Marie’s mess and her shift in perspective since publishing her book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up.
- Don’t take advice from someone that doesn’t look like you
- You don’t need permission to get tidy
- Don’t let anyone else set the bar for you
- A tidy home is a point in time measure
- You’re allowed to change your mind
Lesson #1: Don't take advice from someone that doesn't look like you
For example, I’m personally careful not to take business advice from someone who doesn’t know and understand the challenges of being a female entrepreneur with young kids.
I’m not talking about literally looking like her. You don’t have to be a 4 foot 7 Japanese woman to learn something from Marie.
I’m talking about what stage of life she was in when wrote her first book.
Marie wrote the book when she was
- single,
- in her 20’s and
- without children.
So her experiences and perspectives are coming from someone with that world view.
She is also quoted as saying…
“Up until now, I was a professional tidier, so I did my best to keep my home tidy at all times,” she said at the event. “I have kind of given up on that in a good way for me. Now I realize what is important to me is enjoying spending time with my children at home.”
The truth is we all go through different seasons of our life. But I don’t think she is mincing words here. Instead of spending her time tidying AND spending time with her children at home, she is choosing one in favor of the other. So it’s an OR situation here. Meaning, in her world today, there isn’t room for both.
This is very different than the perspective she shares in her book. She writes, “When it comes to tidying, the majority of people are lazy.”
There is no mention of priorities shifting here or being a parent to three young kids, which she is today.
Lesson #2: You don't need permission to get tidy
Just because the Queen of Clean is embracing messes in her life doesn’t mean it’s acceptable.
It also doesn’t mean it isn’t acceptable either.
One message remains constant here and it’s that you get to decide what sparks joy, not her or anyone else. That’s a powerful message in this mess.
I’ve heard many say they are relieved that Marie is saying her home is a mess because they feel like the pressure is off and they too now have permission to keep their homes untidy.
You don’t need Marie’s permission.
She doesn’t get to judge you for the state of your home.
There is no need to commiserate with her and her messy home by saying, “see, even Marie Kondo can’t keep her home tidy.”
Which leads me into my next point
Lesson #3: Don't let anyone else set the bar for you
Did Marie set unrealistic expectations of keeping a tidy home that even she can’t uphold today?
Would Old Marie judge the actions or inactions of new Marie?
In the past she wrote, “Tidying in the end is just a physical act. All you need to do is look at each item, one at a time, and decide whether or not to keep it and where to put it.”
She even goes on to write, “it is not hard to tidy up perfectly and completely…in fact, anyone can do it.”
I’m guessing anyone includes parents too.
If anyone can do it, why isn’t she doing it now?
She even wrote, “When people revert to clutter not matter how much they tidy, it is not their room or their belongings but their way to thinking that is at fault.
Based on her own words, it seems like old Marie would not approve of new Marie’s way of thinking.
Lesson #4: A tidy home is a point in time measure
It’s inaccurate to state that once you have tidied up your home, it will stay that way.
The simplistic approach she wrote about in the past states, “Start by discarding. Then organize your space, thoroughly, completely, in one go. If you adopt this approach – the KonMari Method – you’ll never revert to clutter again.”
This isn’t true.
As we know, and new Marie now knows, that getting tidy and staying tidy are two different things.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say she doesn’t have a tidy problem, she has a maintenance problem.
What is tidy anyway?
It’s a relative term.
I’m willing to bet that Marie’s version of a mess in her home is still tidy by other people’s standards.
Marie Kondo quits tidying is probably the equivalent to saying she no longer can eat off her kitchen floor.
She also wrote, “Unbelievable as it may sound, you only have to experience a state of perfect once to be able to maintain it.”
It is unbelievable because it is untrue and we see this with her new change in perspective.
Lesson #5: You're allowed to change your mind
Marie is entitled to her opinion.
Her opinion can shift and change perspective; she can evolve.
Just like her brand has evolved.
Initially, when we first learned of Marie Kondo, she was a educator on how to declutter based on the simple approach of asking yourself if something sparks joy or not.
Then her brand evolved and she started to sell you high end products to contain your stuff which also evolved into a marketplace where you could buy the things that brings joy to her life.
I’m not at all surprised by this new shift because her message tends to shift when she takes on a new business project.
So what’s the drive for this recent shift?
Her latest book release from November 2022. It’s called Kurashi at Home: How to Organize Your Space and Achieve Your Ideal Life.
Conclusion
Here are my final thoughts.
Does the fact that she doesn’t talk the talk and walk the walk today invalidate the organizational tips that she has shared with the world?
In my opinion, no.
Her first book, the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up was a #1 New York Times best seller, it has been translated into many different languages, she has sold millions, AND terms like spark joy have made an imprint on popular culture.
We’ve learned how to fold clothes and how to tidy through her methods.
She was relevant in the past and she continues to fight for relevance today with a message that largely remains the same.
Seeking out the things that bring you joy is the path to living your ideal life.
And she’s doing that by embracing the mess at home with the same arms that embrace her children.
I’m so curious to know, tell me in the comments would old Marie approve of new Marie?
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Southern California based Professional Organizer, Sandy Park, owner and founder of Tidy with SPARK shares her joy of organization with her clients.
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