Why is Decluttering So Hard - 3 reasons that explain
The hardest part of decluttering is the process of letting go.
But why is decluttering so hard?
While we know it is difficult, sometimes it’s challenging to get to the bottom of why it’s so hard for us.
In order to let go, there is a bit of internal processing that we need to do to understand what, if anything, is holding us back from releasing something in our possession.
I’ve looked into my own journey with tidying and found three main reasons why I personally struggled to let go and have also found time and time again, that these same reasons come up for my own clients as well.
Digging down beneath the surface of why something is difficult to do takes some mental work, but the tough task is often worth it if we want to uncover the source.
During my own journey, understanding these reasons helped me process how I felt while decluttering, and also allowed me to actually let go as a result.
Why is decluttering so hard - Reason #1
Plain and simple, the fear of change causes stress and anxiety for many of us.
The fear of changing the current situation to one that is unknown is unpredictable and uncomfortable.
Fear of Change may be a Fear of the Future
Many do not willingly choose the path of discomfort and that’s why we choose to stay in the “comfort zone” where all is right in the world and we live amongst hearts and rainbows.
We all want to be comfortable because that is what is
- easy
- safe and
- known.
This fear of change is related to the fear of the future which is unknown.
When we don’t know the path we are headed on it’s a bit stressful to be on that journey.
But the path to change is also the path to what we want in our lives. By releasing ourselves from our items we are allowing for new experiences to take shape and form in our life.
When we have the courage to change, we actually make room or space for the things that we do want in our lives.
Why is decluttering so hard - Reason #2
The scarcity mindset relates to focusing on what you don’t have rather than what you do have.
This mindset drives us to hold on to things simply because there is fear of life without it or not having it when it is needed.
Alternately an abundant mindset freely lets go of possessions because of the belief that the act of letting go will allow abundance to enter your life when you need it.
Scarcity Mindset
In the decluttering process, we start to rationalize keeping something because of what I call the “what-if” conundrum.
You’re wondering, what-if I need this (item)? Followed by, I don’t want to be without it when the time comes to use it.
I did the same thing too.
Let me give you an example. Living in Texas for many years I collected many pairs of warm fuzzy socks.
Whenever the temperature would dip I would grab one pair and that was usually enough to keep me warm. So there was no explaining why I had more than a dozen pairs of fuzzy socks.
And the truth is I would always reach for the same pair, time and time again.
My “what-if” scenario I played in my head was already debunked.
When the what-if situation occurred, I already had enough to handle the need. One pair was enough yet I was holding on and allowing space to be taken up by more than a dozen pairs.
While this doesn’t exactly make sense, it’s something I see all the time with my clients.
This scarcity mindset drives us to keep more than we need and more than what is enough to cover our “what-if” scenarios.
Why is decluttering so hard - Reason #3
Often times our items are connected to a feeling or emotion.
We give meaning and purpose to our things through attachments.
Emotional attachments to our possessions
A dress you wore on a date may remind you of how you felt on the date. A gift that someone special in your life gave to you may also hold a lot of sentimental value.
These emotional attachments can make the process of letting go that much more difficult in the decluttering process.
It’s important to process these feelings before making your decision.
The opposite can be true as well for our possessions. Some items bring up traumatic and negative emotions yet, these items are still in our possession.
It’s important to dig deep below the surface to understand why we are holding on to something that brings negativity to our life.
In terms of a gift you received from a significant person in your life, the love and appreciation someone shared with you was transferred to you when the gift was given, and it doesn’t live in the item itself.
This is a sticky point for many because we often breathe life into the item, whether positive or negative, when really there is no real emotion to exist in the item.
The item exists to serve us in our life or be a disservice in our lives. If it no longer serves us, does it make sense to then keep the item to take up space?
By letting go of the item, if useability and functionality still remains in the item, giving it to someone else through a donation can really add value to someone else’s life.
Conclusion
Looking into the 3 reasons on why is decluttering so hard can be the difference between living free from clutter or continuing on your current path of living a cluttered life.
I know I dug in deep with this post, but I find it especially important to address this topic fully and in detail because it truly is the point at which so many of us get stuck when tidying up our homes.
That also means it is the point at which people give up on the process of decluttering.
There may be too many emotional hurdles to clear in order to let go not just of the physical possessions, but the emotional ones too that ultimately hold us back from living our best lives.
Tidying is not a one and done event.
It’s a process that truly can take a long time to complete.
I honestly believe that growth and learning is not linear so it’s important to give ourselves
- grace,
- patience, and
- compassion
when journeying to a tidy life.
I applaud you for getting through to the end of this post. When it comes to letting go, which of the above 3 reasons on why is decluttering so hard, resonates with you the most?
Need help on your tidying journey? Grab my free decluttering checklist pdf in the link below.
Tidy on and tidy strong, my friends!
Growing up, our family lived a VERY modest lifestyle. My parents couldn’t really afford alot of things. I always envied my friends homes, with their STUFF, knick knacks and such.
I started collecting TOO much stuff I think because I felt I deserved it, not being able have all the “pretties” in my youth. Letting go is difficult because of this. Your blog hit the nail on the head. I also find it easier because I donate to charities, (nice, usable items) so I feel someone else is enjoying my good taste😉🙋. Lol❤️
Thank you Dorothy! This is such an important perspective and I appreciate you sharing. So many of our attachments stem from something that happened in our childhood long ago. I love how you are sharing with others and making changes in your life that feel good for you.
I identify with all of these but the first and third are the biggest ones.
Letting go of so many items and memories to embrace a somewhat unknown future was so hard… but it changed the course of my life for the better. It was interesting how many negative emotions I held onto in my items just to avoid a potentially phenomenal future that was unknown. When I parted with them, not only was there space in my home, but also in my heart and my soul. I let so many good happy life experiences and changes in. I couldn’t have done it without you, Sandy!
Lizz! Thank you for sharing your experience! Fear is something that every single one of us faces and having the courage to acknowledge it and move past and through it is incredible because we can truly gain so much on the other side.