How Perfectionism Gets in the
Way of Tidying Up
3 Challenges to the Perfectionist Mindset
In this post I share three challenges on how perfectionism gets in the way of tidying up your home.
Ever wonder why you have all these grand ideas about getting organized and then when you finally wrap your head around starting, you push it to the side thinking you can delay it to the next day? It might be perfectionism disguised as procrastination.
Perfectionism disguised as Procrastination
This is a familiar pattern that I see occur for many of my tidying clients. You love the idea of getting your home and space organized, but actually carving out the time and energy to tackle it becomes less of a priority as you approach your self-imposed deadline.
You might hear yourself say I’ll get organized this weekend. Somehow after Friday and late on Sunday it occurs to you that the weekend came and went and you’re no way near closer to getting organized or holding yourself accountable on your goal.
I see some classic behaviors when it comes to procrastination related to perfectionism. As a recovering perfectionist, I am hyper in tune with the warning signals that show up when my perfectionist tendencies surface.
Let’s dive into the ways your perfectionism causes procrastination and gets in the way of tidying up.
Challenge #1 - How Perfectionism Gets in the Way of Tidying Up:
We Tell Ourselves Lies
Perfectionists tend to lie to themselves about how long a task will actually take. By overestimating the time it takes to complete a task, we already set ourselves up to procrastinate on the task altogether.
The delay lies in the fear that the task will take too long and we convince ourselves that we simply don’t have time for it. I am guilty of this and if I’m being honest, it still happens to me.
No one says, “I’m so glad I spent 6 months avoiding something that actually took four minutes to complete,” but the truth is, that is what happens to tasks that we procrastinate on.
"I'm so glad I spent 6 months avoiding something that actually took 4 minutes to complete."
- Sandy Park
Another lie we tell ourselves is that the task will be too hard. We are great at hyping something up, and actually create something out of nothing. Before we know it, that something becomes unachievable and “too hard” to address so we continue on the path of procrastination.
"Perfectionism is the mother of procrastination." - Michael Hyatt
Starting something “too hard” taps into our fear of failure. Many perfectionists do not take action unless the task is a slam dunk. If there’s even a little bit of resistance or fear that the outcome of the action isn’t a success, a perfectionist may back away not even trying to attempt to take the first step.
My least favorite lie, but one that still pops up from time to time is the lie that we can’t do it because we don’t have the skills or expertise. While imposter syndrome is real, this is fear talking my friend and it gets in the way, disguised as procrastination, to derail our tidying goals.
Challenge #2 - How Perfectionism Gets in the Way of Tidying Up: We Demand Perfection from Ourselves
Procrastination looks like perfectionism because we are looking for perfect conditions before taking on a task. In terms of getting organized, some common trends and behaviors I see are waiting for the perfect organizing plan before getting started with organization.
Have you ever stopped making progress on a goal because you didn’t have all your ducks in a row? Or maybe you didn’t have all the supplies you think you needed such as organizing bins and containers? Or perhaps you allowed yourself to stop moving forward with getting organized because you want to wait and make sure you had the “right” organizing bins?
This type of behavior causes us to stop even before getting started on the path to organization.
If any of this sounds familiar, you’re in good company. I’ve been there too and I’ve said all those same things. The truth is there is no perfect plan, and there is no perfect organizing bin. There are only plans and containers that work for each of us in our unique situations.
Challenge #3 - How Perfectionism Gets in the Way of Tidying Up: We Seek Distractions as a way of Avoidance
Right before an important test or something that I didn’t want to do (like going to the DMV), the dirty baseboards that were dusty long before I ever needed to study, suddenly becomes the big priority in my life.
Before I know it, I’m already on my hands and knees with a damp rag, meticulously wiped down the baseboards all in an effort to avoid studying. Sound familiar?!
Somehow the baseboards outranked studying for the test because a procrastinator looks for other ways to distract themselves from the task at hand. This also is true for those of us who avoid tidying at all costs. The idea of tidying may be so overwhelming that we create other priorities that don’t exist in order to delay and procrastinate on getting order in our environments.
Recommended Solutions
I’ve shared what the challenges are, now I’m offering suggestions on how to solve them.
Challenge: We Tell Ourselves Lies
Solution: Challenge the Lie
If you’re good at telling yourself a lie, just as I am, challenge your thought and ask yourself, “is this true?” You may discover, that you’re telling yourself half-truths or straight out lies, but this is a chance for true discovery about our thoughts and feelings.
You can even challenge the thought with action. Prove the thought to be incorrect with a small action. That may be all that you need to see the error in the thinking. This is especially beneficial when you realize that a task that actually took 6 months to think about really only took a few minutes to complete.
Challenge: We Demand Perfection from Ourselves
Solution: Understand that Perfection is a Deception
If you’re looking for perfect conditions, I’m here to share that those conditions many not come and the time you spent waiting for those conditions can’t be brought back.
Perfection is an opinion. What is perfect for you may not be what is perfect for me. Not only is it a relative concept, it’s unattainable.
When I started down my path to recovery from perfectionism, I realized that progress is the goal, not perfection. Because what is next after you reach perfection? You meet the bar and then you set another bar. And then another.
It’s an endless cycle where you do not come out the winner. You come out saying, “what’s next” because you’re chasing something that doesn’t exist.
One solution is to learn to enjoy the process. Tidying is after all not a one and done event. It’s a journey that spans the whole of your lifetime.
Challenge: We Seek Distractions as a way of Avoidance
Solutions: Identify Your "WHY"
If you’re looking for distractions, get clear on why you want to tidy up. Your “why” is such an important thing to discover because it is the very reason you have chosen to move you along in the process when passion, desire, or sheer will fade along the journey.
Getting clear on your why will set you up for success.
Well stated by Marie Kondo, “people cannot change their habits without first changing their way of thinking.”
If our thoughts truly affect our feelings and our feelings drive our actions, we must change our thoughts before we are ever able to tidy up.
While “perfection is the mother of procrastination”, according to Michael Hyatt, our thoughts are the key to action.
Tidy on and tidy strong, my friends!
Share with me in the comments how perfectionism has challenged you in your tidying journey. Also, please share this post with friends and family who could benefit from the content.
Southern California based Professional Organizer, Sandy Park, owner and founder of Tidy with SPARK shares her joy of organization with her clients that she serves in Orange County as well as the hundreds of thousands of followers on her combined social media platforms. Connect with Sandy through her website or by connecting through her social channels.
Thank you for this. This self reflection allowed me to not feel alone, as well as to give some insightful suggestions. I cannot thank you enough!
Wonderful! I’m so glad to hear that it was helpful, and you’re definitely not alone. The more I own this part of myself I am able to give myself grace and understanding to experience a true freedom. Thank you for chiming into the conversation.